Monday, October 15, 2007

Losing My Mind

The model of Rodin’s “The Thinker” was given to me as a groomsman’s gift by one of my very best friends. Since that time I have proudly displayed it in my classrooms, offices, and in my library at home.

This weekend while cleaning, I knocked it off its table and it crashed to the floor breaking its arm and crushing its skull. I thought for a bit I could repair it, but the head was in so many shards that it would end up being more glue than plaster and the head would more resemble the elephant man than the thinker.

I realized, too, that the thinker without his head in many ways represented me these days. My work and social lives have become so hectic and overlap so much that I have to keep a portable to-do list with me most of the time. Mostly it’s good, but it does eat into my alone time.

I’ve said it before and it remains true, despite the outgoing nature people see in public, I’m really very much an introvert and need time alone to recharge my personal batteries. Lately it feels like I’ve been “on” so much that my mind takes breaks on its own in the middle of the day or the middle of a conversation.

I’m on the countdown to a couple days of vacation. Fortunately, I’ll be able to do that and regain my mind, but I’m afraid the statue is permanently changed.

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