Office Food Thieves

Office food thieves are notorious in both water-cooler talk and situation comedy plot-lines.

And it’s even worse when they mess with such an anal person as me!

No, some greedy, thoughtless, hungry idiot did not take my food from the refrigerator.

Some greedy, thoughtless, mildly hungry, invasive idiot took a bite of a protein bar which was in my desk drawer.

That’s right: A BITE.

One BITE.

From my desk drawer!

And then the greedy, thoughtless, mildly hungry, invasive idiot PUT IT BACK!

I guess he thought I may have wanted the rest.

Imagine my horror and fury when I arrived at the office, hungry for a good ol’ protein bar for breakfast and I discover that my food source has a bite missing.

I was disturbed. Profoundly disturbed.

Almost as disturbed as I was when I woke the morning after hosting a holiday party to find that someone had opened my medicine cabinet and SQUEEZED my toothpaste. I’m compulsive about squeezing from the end and enough had been used so that the person could see how I follow directions!

So, the medicine cabinet peeper, squeezed it in the middle.

You can’t do that to AIM!

It mixes the colors.

What was the person thinking? That I like brown toothpaste?

If I wanted brown toothpaste, I would buy the all natural grit they sell in Whole Foods.

That occurred four years ago and I’m still obsessing over it. The food in my desk – going on two weeks.

But I’ll have my revenge. Sugar-free candy and dog cookies that look like people cookies.