Monday, August 11, 2008

Cheer ‘em On!

Cheerleaders are not often known for being the smartest team on the field, but last week cheerleaders attending camp at The University of Texas proved to be about as smart as frat boys. They decided to see how many cheerleaders could fit in an elevator. They made it to 26 before the doors closed.

So there are twenty-six 14 to 17 year old girls on an elevator.

They are holding each other tighter than on a basket-catch.

Then the doors don't open.

There are still twenty-six 14 to 17 year old girls on an elevator. Let me rephrase that. There are twenty-six 14 to 17 year old cheerleaders on an elevator.

Panic ensues.

I have resisted commenting, but after watching the squads of cheerleaders parading across campus each morning for a week I have to say I am really disappointed in the cheerleaders. With their skills at building pyramids and their tiny bodies (well, some of them were not even close to being tiny – must have been the base), I expected them to get far more into the elevator before giving up at 26. Granted, they are high school cheerleaders, but this was near the end of a national camp, so they should have reached a certain level of skill. Surely they could have stuffed at least thirty 14 to 17 year old cheerleaders in an elevator!

I still want to see the security tape from the elevator when they realized the door was not going to open – just before the cell phones came out.

Even better than that moment – twenty-six girls cheerleaders attempting to talk on their cell phones at the same time while trapped in an elevator. Some called for help. Some called parents. All while squeezed in an elevator! I'm amazed they were rescued – how could help have ever understood a word they said?

By the time officials, police, and an elevator technician gets them freed, one has passed out and is taken to the hospital, two require treatment at the scene. University officials are steamed. And a new generation of cheerleader jokes is set to entertain us for years.

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