Toilet Terrors

One of the perks of my job is attending conferences in different parts of the country. It helps satisfy my travel urge – in fact, I rarely take vacations apart from a day or two on either end of a conference.

In conjunction with the travel, I get exposure to a variety of hotels with their range of accommodations. Some graciously treat their guests and others find every way to bilk each penny they can from the guests (why is it the more expensive the hotel, the more I have to pay for internet access, but the cheaper the hotel, the more likely it is free?).

A favorite part of any stay in a hotel is the restroom.

As eco-friendly as I try to be at home, I admit I am something of an eco-terrorist at the hotel. I like the clean towels. I like hot water that does not run out. I like the creams and smelly things the hotels put out.

So, I spend as much time in the bathroom as I spend in bed.

The hotel I’m staying in this week is an exception. I have not been able to adequately control the water temperature, so it is either scalding hot or freezing cold. The creams are not nearly as nicely smelly as at many other hotels.

The greatest drawback I have with the bathroom, though, is the toilet.

That’s right, the toilet.

I stay in fear I may accidentally hit the knob and make it flush.

The toilet in my room flushes in milliseconds. I tried to time it, but my fingers are not fast enough on the stopwatch among my phone features.

Did I ever mention I was a bit obsessive?

The toilet flushes loudly too (albeit it is a short loud sound). The shy me remains convinced that everyone on my floor and the floor below me and room above me knows when I’ve done my business.

I actually look forward to getting home on Friday with my softer towels, better smelling creams…

…and quiet toilet that does not devour pets and small children.