Tuesday, November 15, 2011

And They Call Him the Streak

Feeling at a loss for inspiration I started scouring my twitter feed and the various news sites I have on my iPad. An hour later, I had more than a few laughs but still wondered for inspiration. Disturbingly hilarious photos of families with their pets. A nude man robbing a liquor store. The litany of Republican presidential candidate gaffes. All of them are too good on their own. I do not need to comment on them. Even the news out of Penn State is so repulsive that I do not know where to even start in a commentary about it.

And then in real life, a guy wearing a trench coat walks into the coffee shop (start of many a joke) where I'm hanging out. It is 75 degrees. No good reason exists to be wearing a trench in the middle of a drought with this temperature. Well, no good reason unless you are going to flash someone.

He also ordered a hot chocolate.

That trench is coming off.

Unfortunately, he is somewhere behind me, so instead of doing the writing I want to do, I am closely watching the people in my line of sight so I can be ready with my phone camera when the big event goes off. I am trying to imagine how it will go down for a play by play announcer:

And he stands from his seat.

The table to the right is fully absorbed in their studies.

He's fully in the clear. He has a direct shot.

And he's walking.

He's walking.

His hand is on the button.

The table knows somethings up. He's closing in.

And there you have it folks. A wide open trench coat. Full frontal exposure.

The girl at the corner gasps as the boy next to her spews his coffee and points.

The guy across the table leaps to his feet.

But just as quickly trench guy is out the door.

Maybe I have been following Ruth Buzzi on Twitter too much lately. The whole trench coat schtick seems very 1970's. Do people still do that or does webcamming fulfill the fetish for people who have the need to expose themselves live to others? Lately there have been more stories of people streaking at sporting events than in past years, so perhaps we are regressing to a more personal touch for our exposure. Has social media become so distant even exhibitionists have to find a venue with real people?

If that is the case then Avenue Q is going to have to rewrite one of the funniest songs. The Internet is no longer for porn: it's for real stuff.
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