From Welcoming to Winning to Welcoming

Recently I participated in a discussion with a group of theologians who participated in an event hosted by an organization that works for full inclusion of all people in all churches. One person made a comment, meant to be encouraging at the time, that with changes in society and stories in the press, we had won. The idea, and language, of “winning church” stuck with me for the rest of the day as it bulldozed its way through my thinking and most of my individual conversations the rest of the day.

Wouldn’t we all be very happy if everyone else’s theology came into perfect alignment with our own? I have never met anyone who did not like the idea of winning, and “winning church” probably ranks as the biggest.

Deep inside, I think we all desire an end to conflict between the faiths so that the most contentious argument in Church is whether to serve regular, whole-wheat, or gluten-free communion wafers. Sadly, within major religions such as Judaism, Christianity, and Islam most of the divisions, denominations, or sects agree on the big concepts of the religion. The minutia and practice around those concepts, though create schisms large enough to dwarf the Grand Canyon. To cement the “rightness” of each point, they become so enshrined in ritual across generations that if the Torah/Bible/Koran did not say it, it should have.

Truthfully, though, I do not want another denomination or, for that matter, another individual to come into sync with my personal theology: it would diminish my personal, individual, relationship with God. I came to where I am in faith through my life experiences and my encounters with God. They are uniquely mine and have shaped nuances of faith no one else can have. The big ideas align to my faith tradition but have been buffed and polished by my experiences with God. The biggest idea in Christianity is having a personal relationship with God.

Similarly, congregational experience grows the same way through corporate worship and shared experiences. Each congregation develops its its history and tradition around those experiences. Some use the history as a guide for future work. Some get stuck in the history.

While it the idea of winning sounds nice, it does not support the value of welcoming all in the church. For someone to win, someone else loses - becoming disenfranchised and feeling unwelcome in the church. The welcoming and affirming movements within the different denominations have to recognize that we have not been successful until every child of God is welcome in every congregation. As more congregations and religious organizations adjust rules and statements of faith the more we will encounter individuals and groups who opposed those changes. They are as worthy or our love and gracious welcome as the previously excluded populations.

Welcoming is not a value extended only toward historically marginalized individuals and groups. Welcoming is a value extended to everyone. Christ left no ambiguity about who could be his follower. He traveled amongst the sinners and unclean while engaging the religious elite. He welcomed everyone.

Society may proclaim winners and losers on various issues, but we who seek justice for all cannot let ourselves adapt this kind of thinking. We have long worked to develop a kingdom view of people that welcomes everyone and affirms their value.

I admit that I am encouraged by the increase in congregations and organizations who are recognizing that Christ welcomed and affirmed all people and are seeking to become more Christlike by following his example. Meanwhile other congregations reinforce their theology that defines who can worship with them. As long as the dichotomy exists there are no winners. The best we can do is to practice grace and demonstrate the love of God.

Birthday Cake Alone

My birthday cake this year was a Mrs. Field’s Chocolate Chip Cookie that I ate alone in my hotel room.

Cry me a river. Boo hoo!

ABSOLUTELY NOT!! That chocolate chip cookie, alone in my hotel room, capped the best birthday I have ever had.

(Disclaimer - I was attending a conference that day and the leadership and attendees recognized my birthday and had a small party for me and one of the organization’s leaders celebrating a birthday on the same day that included cake and cupcakes. I never ate any because I was too busy visiting. The recognition is much appreciated - sugar rush or not.)

I am not someone who enjoys getting much attention on his birthday. Well-wishes and greetings are welcome, but anything that draws much attention is not. For many years, I would invite some friends to dinner and treat them without ever letting them know it was my birthday. Their company was the gift I sought.

This year, I attended a pastor/seminarian workshop and enjoyed a worship service in The First Baptist Church of the United States (and when they say first - they mean it!). I do not qualify in either category, but the idea of spending a day in spiritual discussion attracted me. It also happened to be sponsored by an organization I have supported since discovering - AWAB: The Association of Welcoming and Affirming Baptists. The topics and ideas that stuck with me have provided ample food for thought for the next few months. I went into the day, knowing that I valued and respected the opinions of the people present.

I exited the day valuing and respecting the opinions of the people present even more than I expected.

As enjoyable as the educated thought and discourse was, the disconnect from technology and the interaction with individuals in a small enough setting to connect with them, enhanced the spiritual renewal of the day. Many of the deep and sincere discussions connected to questions I had been pondering while seeking to reconcile my personal feelings with my social-justice theology. None of the conversations resolved any of the theological questions, but they provided fodder for my meditation and writing for some time.

The location for the event set the mood for contemplation nicely. Spending a day in a building 199 years old and worshipping in a building 238 years old (for a congregation celebrating 375 years years together) forces you to consider a broader span than we normally contemplate. Holy places draw us in, safely, opening us to more than we could get elsewhere. Even the grounds around the sanctuary for the buildings presented a holy feel.

Following the worship service, I arrived back at my hotel, bounding with energy. As I sat at the desk reading the email, Twitter, and Facebook birthday well-wishes, I indulged in the cookie and rejoiced at the day I had.

Feed the Birds

My aunt and I were watching whatever cooking show happened to be on television at the time when my uncle called us to the door to see a blue-jay that had followed him under the carport and perched on his chair. By the time we made it over, the bird had jumped to a chair even closer to the door. I grabbed my phone and took a picture before it flew away. As it turns out, I did not need to rush. The bird is both a fan of cameras and people.

We all went outside and the bird kept coming back under the carport landing on the grill or hopping on the ground around us - eventually going up and pecking on my uncle’s shoe. My aunt handed me a piece of cookie to see it it would take it. Because the cat had come outside, the bird had flown up to the carport roof so I stepped near and held the cookie bit out and he immediately hopped to the edge nearest my fingers and tried to grab the cookie, but neither of us could reach far enough.

I stepped back, squatted down and he flew down beside me and immediately gently snatched the proffered cookie crumb. It would eat crumbs from my hand for a few minutes, then it would fly away and play in the sprinkler, catching a few bugs along the way, then it would return to eat some more cookie crumbs.  The pattern repeated itself for a couple hours. Finally, full of cookie and bugs it flew up into a tree to roost for the night as dusk settled.

While this was going on, the sounds of Julie Andrew’s perfect voice filled my head. “Feed the Birds” from Mary Poppins played on repeat through my mind as the bird came and went. The story of the old woman selling bags of crumbs for people to “feed the birds” is a lilting hymn from the Sherman brothers imploring people to care for the least of these - the old woman with her crumbs for sale and the birds.

I had always thought of the song as particularly sad every time I heard it over the years, but as I sat offering the bird crumb after crumb in the palm of my hand, joy, peace, and calm overtook me. Such unexpected interaction with a wild creature inspires the third of the essential prayers as described by Anne Lemott in her book, Help, Thanks, Wow: Wow! How do you not say, “Wow!” when a silver and blue wild bird chooses you as its afternoon companion.

Wow!

I left my aunt and uncle’s house long before dawn the next day, so I do not know if the bird remained on the same perch where I last saw it the night before. My relatives were planning what food would be best to put out to keep the bird around, though, as my aunt lamented, blue jays drove away her beautiful cardinals. A connection had been made and that matters more than anything else.

My aunt will keep me posted from time to time about the status of the bird - if indeed it stays around their house. Regardless of the bird’s future with the family, I know I will be reminded of the experience whenever I hear Julie Andrews hawking “tuppence, tuppence, tuppence a bag.”

What's Right in My World

         I am easily amused by the humor I find in human foible (resulting in “warning” labels on packaging because of lawsuits stemming from a lack of common sense). Those labels and other silliness bring a bit of happiness to me and to my friends. Focusing on such triviality comes easily in most of our lives. On Thanksgiving, though, we take the time to reflect on what we value in our lives, what means more than a quick chuckle.

         I am blessed that my life is filled with joy sustained by the important people and things in my life.

         I am blessed by a small group of valued friends. We do not talk to each other or see each other nearly as much as I would like to, but I know they are there when I need them.

         I am blessed to have a career that truly matters to me. Waking up every day knowing I get to do something I love and interact with co-workers who are equally passionate about their work keeps me energized.

         I am blessed by family, near and far, who love me and who have made me the person I am today.

         I am blessed by an internalized faith that keeps me grounded no matter how frazzled I get by the chaotic world around me. Having a spiritual retreat against stress of the world allows me peace.

         I am wishing everyone who stumbles up my simple reflection a Happy Thanksgiving, and I send you off with a prayer: May your life be filled with every blessing you need.