I Had a Dream

I had a dream a few nights ago unlike any I have had before – at least that I remember. I keep going back to it trying to come up with some analysis of it or meaning to it, but end up just giggling insanely.

In the dream, a friend (from church) and I were attending an orgy. All around us nakedness and enthusiastic activity ensued. We were together in the middle of it all.

He reclined on a couch.

I sat on the floor leaning against the couch.

We were watching British comedies.

Yes , surrounded by an orgy, we were watching television. Surely it means something, but I cannot get past the giggling.

I am not sure if I keep giggling at the comedies we were watching, the absurdity of the situation, or just all the naked bodies I see in those recalled images.

Honestly – outside the passion of the moment – naked bodies are generally pretty funny.

I told my friend about the dream. He was not at all surprised saying he could see the two of us watching British comedies. I do not know if that meant naked (he is fairly European in attitude) or not, but he was very matter-of-fact about it all.

He has not yet caught the full visual of my dream. He would just be giggling too.

Sex and the Bible

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The Larry Craig Experiment

I keep thinking the Larry Craig event will fade into political history, but it keeps cropping up in blogs, news, and humor – just as the Republican Party feared (and I secretly hoped) it would. Since the event was essentially a he said –vs- he said event, I decided to put it to scientific reasoning. Since there are a few actions that are agreed upon (the meaning is in dispute on all of them), I put them to the test: did the action lead to pee, no pee, sex, no sex, or dancing?

In order to replicate the situation as closely as I could, I used a stall in the restroom where I work rather than my own toilet at home. Just like with the label in the restroom toilet, I was careful not to be spotted doing my experiment when someone else was in the restroom.

To easily understand it, I created a table.

Action	Pee	No Pee	Sex	No Sex	Dancing ***
Peeking in Stalls	X*		X*
Wide Stance	X		XX
Foot Tapping		X	**		X
Bending Over		X	XXX
Sitting	X		XX
Bending Over While Sitting		X	X
*You do want to check to see if the stall is occupied before grabbing the door, so it could be for pee or sex (if the occupant is cute). **My feet are not normally in a place that would lead to tapping during sex, but peeing is impossible while foot tapping. ***Dancing is premarital sex for Baptists.

It is time for Senator Craig to come clean (out). After my careful research, there is no way he was in that stall for its engineered purpose. Every action possibly works for sex, but peeing is only possible with two of them.

What happened to the age of investigative reporters who should have figured this out months ago? It took me getting bored while peeing one day (I had already been though a pot of coffee, so I was there for a while). But now that we have scientific proof, we can put the entire event to rest and the Republicans can adapt to having a gay senator in their midst while they continue their rhetoric of intolerance.

Poking About

I may be gay, but I always knew reproduction involved a bit of poking - I just never realized it was with needles.