Priorities

For the last few years I have faithfully participated in NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month) in November by pledging to post [and posting] every day of the month. Since the event started being managed by a for-profit organization some things have improved (daily writing prompt for when you get stuck) and some things haven’t - there’s a NaBloPoMo every month. I only participate in November because that is the month in which the event originated.

Unlike past years when I had the writing prompt planned for each day of the month and jumped into participation enthusiastically, I registered online and began posting each day without any fanfare. I passed the halfway point in the month and all the way to the 26th. The end was in sight and despite not having a daily plan for the posts, I reached the point that I knew I would complete another month.

And then Thanksgiving, holiday company, and the coughing crud that has been making the rounds hit at the same time. I fell asleep typing the post for November 27 ( working title: Earned Exhaustion) and missed the midnight deadline for having a post on that date.

I began beating myself up immediately on waking up and realizing I had missed the deadline. I went into the exercise not fully committed to it, but failing to complete it was tragedy. The emotional self-flagellation continued for over a week when in a moment of clarity, I thought, “why am I upset about this? I write this blog for fun. Putting this kind of pressure took every bit of fun out of it.

I have continued posting since 2005 because of the fun. I expect to participate in NaBloPoMo in future years. Now that I have learned my lesson I will go into it for the challenge, but I will no longer beat myself up over a voluntary challenge. Most of all, I look forward to continued fun as I work on the blog.

Indestructible: Not

         My dog cannot read. I keep buying toys for him which have labels that say they are “indestructible” and “tear resistant.” Within hours the toy stuffing is scattered around the house resembling a light winter snow. Again today I had to sweep the carpet of toy fragments before vacuuming the pieces that threatened to be ground permanently into the carpet.

         Most of the labels are in English and Spanish. They need to start writing them in Canine.

         Whenever I bring home a new indestructible toy, my roommate and I make bets on how long it will last. Some number of hours is the standard wager.

         Little did I know I was being prophetic when I named the dog “Bart” after the hyperactive, misadventure-prone middle child of The Simpsons. I should have picked something heroic, but Superman, Batman, Aquaman and Wonder Woman just did not seem appropriate for the energetic puppy. That puppy has grown into the name and has maintained puppy levels of energy like no dog I have ever owned. I had never encountered a Pug/Boston Terrier cross before, so I had no idea what I was in for.

         Clearly the toy manufacturers have never encountered one either. Whenever I first present him with a new toy that contains any kind of stuffing, he strategically picks a point to start chewing and persists until he has worked his way through the fabric, and then, just like with a runner in hose, he rips a hole large enough for him to pluck out every thread of filling. He remains perfectly happy with the floppy dismembered shreds of fabric and will carry it around like a trophy and bring it to us for play.

         I am probably cursing myself by writing it, but also like his namesake, Bart is genuinely good at heart and far smarter than he is given credit for being. He routinely destroys his toys, but he does not touch other items around the house that could be destroyed and could be mistaken for one of his toys. He knows what is safe to touch and what is not.

         A truly indestructible pet toy has become my holy grail. Like the elusive vessel for crusaders of history, it remains undiscovered. Despite the setbacks to date, I keep pressing forward, certain that it will be found. Until then, my broom and vacuum stay busy.

Clever New Uses

The barrage of emails with holiday tips did not stop with the arrival of the holidays. They have continued offering sage bits of advice, or things I could buy at a discount with sage bits of advice. One in particular caught my attention with the subject line: Clever New Uses for The Holidays.

While I, for the most part, shrewdly resisted the appeal of the various pitches, I could not turn down investigating what new uses someone had found for the holidays. Considering it came from a popular magazine that regularly presents new uses for common items, I figured that if anyone could do it, they would.

Opening the email proved disappointing because the headline had nothing to do with the content. There were numerous ways of using holiday packing and wrapping. There were recipes for combining common leftovers into more appealing dishes. There were tips for what to do with those partially used holiday-scented candles.

But not one new use for any holiday.

Despite the disappointment, I realized that Boxing Day has me pretty much holidayed out. I do not know how many more clever uses for holidays I could handle at this point; I am satisfied with the uses they already have. I just have to recover in time for New Year’s Eve.

And I have an entire year to come up with clever new uses for the holidays and give that magazine an article that lives up to its headline.

Label FAIL

I really should not pay so much attention to labels on products, but in looking over the bottle of margarita mix I won in the work holiday drawing, I noticed the misspelling below. I found it particularly funny because on the day before I was lecturing high school students about homophones and sure enough, there is a homophone error on the back of the bottle of margarita mix.

I wonder if the person who was printing out the labels maybe had had a few tests runs of the product before setting the printer for the bottles to run through.

Better yet, the mix is actually "Diet Margarita Mix". It has 80% fewer calories than regular margarita mix.

Yes, it was the company Christmas lunch and we are having a push on fitness and healthy eating throughout the workplace, but diet margarita mix?

I wonder if they sell "Diet Jose Cuervo" to go with that?

Stick in the Mud

Even in the best of circumstances I am not the most "fun" person around. I am fully aware of it and admit it freely. I have a fairly straight-forward and serious demeanor and once I'm fixed on a way of doing something, I am just that, fixed.

Some would even call me a "stick in the mud."

I usually don't think I am that bad, but Saturday as I took the boyfriend, R, down to meet my family and see the place where I grew up, stuck in the mud is exactly how we found ourselves.

In all honesty, I didn't intend to get stuck in the mud and through the wonders of four-wheel drive on my truck, I managed to avoid it; however, my 14-year-old nephew, trying to be clever and do an end around in the muddy field with his pawpaw's truck, did not. I backed into position in an attempt to pull him out, but he was so thoroughly stuck, I bogged in as soon as my tires started spinning.

Two trucks stuck in the mud.

At the back of a muddy pasture.

That's exactly the way I wanted to introduce a boyfriend to my childhood home.

He was quickly on the phone seeking assistance from New York in the brief moment he found a cell phone signal. Judging by the comments his friends left on the Facebook photo he posted, they were not much help.

My nephew was quickly dispatched to the house to get the tractor and a chain. I suggested he run since the whole mess was his fault. Judging by the short time it took to hear the tractor start, I think he sprinted the 1/3 of a mile back to the barn to get the tractor. Shortly afterward, we were free of the mud and on our way to the rest of Christmas.

Car Wash Fail

Though it is somewhat hard to see in the photo, in the back of the truck are rolls of carpet padding and carpet. As best I could tell they were brand new and the woman was getting the truck washed with them in the back.