The Death and Birth of English

photo from Grammarly

A friend of mine recently posted the photo from Grammarly featuring the quote from Conan O’Brien. The most surprising thing about it is that it is almost a year old and still making the rounds. I have previously mentioned various words of the year as named by various groups. Each so-named word-of-the-year generates the usual pitiful wails from the language purists who remain convinced that Shakespeare, or Dickens, or (insert favorite English author) had the language in its perfect form and we are fools for changing it.

To those purists who have nothing better to do than grouse about the perversion of our language based on societal change I say, “Get over it! English ain't Latin." (Like it or not even spell check knows ain’t is a word.)

Some argue the words selected are too silly or represent a fad. Often they do. Not!* The truthiness** of the Occupy*** movement was challenged by some, but not if they had a subprime**** mortgage. The rise of words expressing the dynamic of society generate the energy that keeps English alive. Rather than killing the language, these words represent the continual birth found in any living language.

Truthfully, those decrying the various words of the year are not attacking the word so much as they disagree with the circumstances that promoted the word to prominence. That is not a question for the linguists who study trends in language but for the society that allowed “selfie” to become a thing. Why are people so preoccupied with taking photos of themselves? I would argue that in a world where everything is social, it’s a cry for attention, “Hey, look at me,” and when the world does not, the selfie offers the illusion of attention, “I’m looking at me.”

Maybe selfie is not so silly.

People, look beyond yourself.

No. Really. Pay attention to the background! No one wants to see your dirty underwear or any of the other embarrassing things captured in that moment of self-affirmation.

In November the various organizations that compile the lists of influential words will again offer their collections. At this point in the year I am at a loss to predict what words will be selected, but I know there will again be the usual uproar predicting the death of our diseased dialects. If it is the typical year, my voice will rise with the others - with the understanding that those cries do not draw us to the funeral parlor, but to the nursery, where we view the continuing birth of English.

*1992, **2005, ***2011, ****2007 words of the year. We may not use them as much, but we still know what they mean.

The Mission of the Seventy Today

Each week as I do my personal devotional using the weekly lectionary texts as a guide, I find a theme and write a reflection. Sometimes one of the passages does not fit the theme and so I mention it only in passing or not at all. One passage from a few months ago completely stood apart from the other passages, and while it did not fit the theme I pulled from the rest of the passages, it is the passage that has stayed on my mind since then and I continue revisiting it as event after event reminds me how relevant the passage is today.

The first verses of Luke 10 marks the first time Jesus sends his followers out to do ministry work on their own. The seventy Jesus sent may actually be a symbolic rather than an actual number, but it clearly indicates the ministry extends beyond the twelve apostles. He gave them very specific directions as to their conduct and their mission. Those same directions are ones we Christians could well heed today as we continue the mission into the world.

The first direction Jesus gave the seventy as he prepared for them to go out in pairs was to take nothing but the clothes on their backs. They were wholly at the mercy of acceptance in the towns they approached. They only carried with them the Peace of the Lord (pre-cross message of Jesus). They went out with humility before those they encountered.

His second command was “to greet no one on the road,” meaning, go with urgency and do not get delayed by distractions. They had a purpose to their journey and Jesus did not want them getting sidetracked from that purpose.

The third direction was that if they were welcomed into a house, then they were to stay there, not hop from place to place and they were to accept whatever was offered to them in the way of food and lodging. They were expected to be as good as guests as the hosts were generous in hosting. Moving from home to home projected the image that they were seeking something better than the current host offered which could shift the message from the blessings they could bestow to an implication of desiring comfort.

The fourth guideline dealt with acceptance and rejection. If the town accepted them, then they stayed, shared the message, and performed miracles as they had been given power by Jesus to do. For these towns, the message that the kingdom of God has come near was a blessing of salvation. Likewise, if a town rejected them, they went out, wiped the dust off their feet, and delivered the same message, but instead it was a notice of loss.

The directions Christ gave apply to us today - maybe even more than to those seventy disciples he sent to the towns ahead of him. We need to have that same humility in the world that the seventy took. Being Christian does not grant us any power or status to hold over those we encounter in the world. Instead, our service in the world becomes the beacon that draws people to Christ. Christianity is a religion to which one is drawn, not driven.

Jesus recognized that we need to have a sense of purpose in the work we are doing. Today, even more than in the time Jesus was on earth, we are surrounded by distractions. Work, media, family, social events - the list is lengthy. When Christ sends us on a mission, though, our entire focus is that mission.

Accepting people where they are and as they are remains one of the greatest challenges of the Christian church. The Gospel is clear that no one can become perfect to get into the kingdom of God, but after accepting Christ we have the best chance we are going to have. Unfortunately, I have heard too many messages in the media and from pulpits that affirm the message of “if you are not like us, you are not welcome.” Change your ways and then you can approach will lead to very few approaching. As the seventy sent by Christ illustrate, we should do the approaching, not waiting for those to come.

The final instruction, though, may be the hardest to follow. When the disciples were rejected, they went on their way and did not look back. There were no angry confrontations. There were no pleas to change the minds. They simply did as Jesus instructed and went on their way, wiping the dust off their feet. It is only natural that we want everyone to experience the joy, peace, and hope we have as Christians. Unfortunately, being confrontational shows none of that.

The same caution applies to any religion in the public sphere. Whether through broadcast religious-based talk and news shows or worship services, the humility, purpose, and acceptance are essential parts of the message. Sadly, as religious organizations have played a more prominent role in the political system over the last thirty years those tones have continually diminished as the leadership has been more vocal. Anyone who disagrees is in for a confrontation and stands to be attacked, especially if they have a different understanding of the scripture: believe my way or else.

Amazingly, it is exactly the same kind of legalistic, theocratic posturing Jesus fought within the Jewish establishment of his time. Most of his interactions with the Jewish leadership could be summarized with, “you have it memorized to the letter, but you are completely missing the point.” Legislating Biblical principles is exactly the opposite of what Jesus would have done.

Christianity is a religion to which people are drawn, not driven.

Legislating one sect’s beliefs guarantees a backlash against the faith as a whole. That is already being seen in the churches shuttering their doors and the empty pews of the ones hanging on. Even Christian groups that do not support the actions of the vocal minority are being harmed by the vociferous “spokesmen” for the faith. People hear a reference to faith and these are the voices they remember.

Jesus closed the experience with the seventy after their return to him by reminding them not to take any pride in the power they had in his name, but to rejoice that they were saved. He sent them out with humility and brought them back to humility. It is time the whole church revisited Jesus directions to the seventy and consider its next steps.

Yahoo!

Despite my propensity for high-tech toys, in one area, I remain firmly entrenched in the 1990’s. My computer home page remains Yahoo. It has been the same since my internet addiction took hold in the mid/late ’90’s as it was the dominant email server and search site. As a digital immigrant, I grew comfortable with it and stuck with it over the years.

Despite it being a dropping in point, I do have other key applications in the tool bar across the top of the screen and use them almost exclusively for actual Internet functions.

Except quick news.

I am still addicted to the Yahoo top headlines - whatever they have picked out for me to be the top headline of the day.

Sometimes they are relevant.

Mostly they are not.

Mostly, they are nothing more than entertaining.

Especially when I get things about Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore breaking NCAA rules. Really? I care about this because? Because they met two potential Iowa basketball recruits, suddenly the NCAA is in a tizzy because they could potentially influence the recruits to attend Iowa.

Frankly, it would take more than Aston and Demi to make me attend Iowa.

And yet, I’ve spent twenty-something minutes pondering the uselessness of this information.

I think it is time for me to move into the 21st century and find a new Internet home page.

Rosie's Price

Barker’s Beauties beware.

Bob Barker endorsed Rosie O’Donnell as his replacement on The Price is Right.

Hmmm…an 83 year old lecherous man replaced by a 40-something year old lesbian. The Beauties can’t catch a break.

And since the former “Queen of Nice” left her namesake talk show, she has worked hard to lose that sobriquet. She’s done battle with publishers, The Donald, Kelli, and her co-host. Can you imagine what she would be like with some of the contestants who make the show?

I can just see it now – the announcer invites someone to “Come on Down,” and the camera pans the audience to find the person cowering down in his seat.

“Do I have to?” he asks.

“You’re the next contestant on The Price is Right!” the announcer intones.

And he does come on down for fear that Rosie will come out and bring him on down. I imagine the ratings will stay about the same, but the demographics will change.

Kentucky (Derby) Favorites

It is certainly a time of high stress and high energy at work and so I suppose I’m susceptible to an occasional misreading. This afternoon I came across a news story about Queen Elizabeth’s upcoming visit to the United States with a stop at the Kentucky Derby. In the article there was a lengthy description of the meal to be served in the clubhouse from which the Queen will have her vantage to watch the race.

The paragraph began with a comment about the menu filled with Kentucky favorites.

In an article about the Kentucky Derby, the usual favorites are horses.

So of course I started giggling.

And then there were a couple guffaws.

And then I had to leave the office for a few minutes to regain my composure.

Of course my mind immediately went to the thought of serving the Queen, the world’s most famous horse lover, a well-aged equine steak – probably from one of the last year’s losers.

The article comes on the heels of a great debate about horse slaughter for export to Europe and other places where horse meat is a regular food. Because we in the United States don’t regularly eat it (never say never – you probably eat some fast food) and have such icons as Silver (Hi Ho!), Trigger (always found the happy trail and found himself stuffed in a museum), Secretariat, and most recently Barbado, the thought of eating horse repulses many. With that in mind, horse lovers actually introduced legislation that would close the slaughterhouses that specializes in exporting edible horse meat.

They didn’t address the issue of dog food or glue!

Really – would you rather have Flicka go on a gourmet plate or some kindergartener’s finger?

Can you imagine what Paula Deen would do with the Black Stallion? I’m thinking chicken fried withers. Maybe a forelock gumbo. She would probably offer a “Blue Gate” special for those equine treats!

The Queen did not have to face any of those possibilities. Her dinner at Churchill Downs consisted of largely beef and seafood. We’ll just watch for the menu the next time she goes to France.

Calling All Lesbians

Now is the time for all good lesbians to come to the aid of their country. The lesbians are the key to ending the war in Iraq in a matter of months.

Recently in a House Foreign Affairs Committee hearing, as representatives were grilling Secretary of State Condi Rice about the reasons the State Department was understaffed on translators. One of the representatives, Gary Ackerman of New York, in questioning Rice, asked why she had not hired the numerous military translators fired under “don’t ask don’t tell.” He pointed out:

For some reason, the military seems more afraid of gay people than they are of terrorists. They’re very brave with the terrorists, and if the terrorists ever get hold of this information, they get a platoon of lesbians to chase us out of Baghdad.

Sounds like a pretty good idea to me.

Lesbians, now is the time to join al Qaida.

I propose that we begin with a blitzkrieg of Dykes on Bikes. The military has become accustomed to identifying and defending against snipers and ieds. They are sorely prepared now to handle the thunderous onslaught of short haired women on Harleys.

We can follow the blitzkrieg with a line of lipstick lesbians. Their very presence will confuse all members of the military. They won’t be able to look at a Fatima or Skinnyma in Baghdad without wondering if she is part of the lesbian force.

Next we will send in the Home Depot Aproned Handiwomen. Who in the military can really tell if they have come to demolish or repair?

Finally, we send in the Flannel Force, the most fearsome fighters since Joan of Arc. The intensity of their slash and burn campaign will clearly demonstrate the futility of battling internal strife in a created state.

As our military retreats, under the repulse of the lesbian platoon, the residents will establish their grounds and will be able to district themselves into governable bodies. There will be bloodshed as there is in any birth, and often in death, as the two events are so closely linked. New nations will come forth and the Iraq created under Western influence (thank you France), will die.

The stasis will come, but not at the expense of American lives. As frightened as our military is of homosexuals, the waves of the lesbian platoon will make it through relatively unscathed as long as the Dykes on Bikes avoid the potholes created by the various ieds and car bombs from the last four years.

Give me Truthiness or give me....

I hope you don’t decide to Pluto this blog because of its truthiness, but if you are a real decider, you may.

The former English teacher in me has enjoyed the revelation of the best new words of the past year across the last few days. I still love words and the evolution of our language across generations. New vocabulary, other than the temporary catch phrases popularized by certain entertainers, recognizes that our society is not static. The words create a verbal cue that we are not the same today as we were yesterday, and it excites me to be reminded of change.

Change does not always mean progress as indicated by two of the most copied new words of the year. Colbert’s “truthiness” indicates the lack of integrity to many of the facts we are given and resorts to the gut feeling we all have for understanding real from fact. It is too bad that we have to rely on truthiness instead of the word of our journalists and leaders.

Likewise, decider became another oft used word after President Bush declared himself a “decider” as the leader of our nation. Sadly our leader does not have a vocabulary reflective of the Ivy League degree he holds. While the word was often used, it failed to gain acceptance as one of the best new words of the years from either group to rate the new words much in the same way as Republicans failed to gain acceptance by the public who rate the government and go out and vote.

After being demoted from planet, Pluto was promoted to verb, and in the transition came to stand for something that loses rank or prestige (see Republicans in the preceding paragraph).

I’m looking forward to the vocabulariazation of 2007!