Inspired NOT Stressed

One of the most eye-opening discoveries in my graduate school counseling preparation was that everything is stressful and has been assigned a point value by Holmes and Rahe  on their stress scale. Even events people regarded as positives in life carry degrees of stress based on the amount of adaptation a person has to do in their life routine to adjust to the event. They connected the measure of stress to a likelihood of physical ailment based on the number of “points” accumulated in a year’s time.

Since the mid-sixties when Holmes and Rahe’s research was published, stress has become the catch-all boogey-man for any type of inconvenience we have (such as performance expectations at work). It becomes the reason for mistakes and the low-quality work. These interpretations of Holmes and Rahe’s work completely misrepresent what they believed about stress: it is necessary for life. Our reactions to the stressor are where the harm lies. Some current research reminds us of that understanding.

WATCH: Turns Out, We May Have Gotten the Science of Stress Completely Wrong | TEDTalks:

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McGonigal cites a study that reported on the effects of the view of stress and health consequences, not the stressor itself. They re-discovered that our response to stress determines the likelihood of illness and even death. Holmes and Rahe assigned the points on their scale based on the general reaction people have to the event - not the event itself. That is why the birth of a child merited fewer points than the death of a loved one. Likewise, a promotion at work scores lower than losing a job. We generally experience less disruption to life with the first examples than the second.

Since discovering the work of Holmes and Rahe in graduate school, I have considered situations differently. I work in a stressful field - education. The challenges differ from school to school and some of them are entrenched and cultural. As long as they are challenges, I have the power to seek and implement solutions that may make them less challenging. When I call them stressors, I have given up seeking solutions.

I am glad that some are beginning to reframe the conversation around stress. For so many years so much misinformation spread so widely that if the number of times a lie was repeated changed it to the truth, then stress would be the villain. Replacing the false understanding of stress with a correct one faces an uphill battle at the start, but I believe it will be readily received: the old news about stress was a tale of weakness, but the new understanding is one of power! Shifting the conversation to our response to stress rather than the stress itself puts control over it within our grasp: we control how we react. We control the effects of stress.

We control our lives. There is no longer a reason to use stress as an excuse.

A Little Moderation

The last few years have brought about such an outpouring of political frustration due to the perceived brokenness of the political system. From the virulent incoherence of the TEA Party movement to the wildly undefined OWS uprising, it has become clear that we as a nation have reached our frustration limits with the status quo. Politicians on both sides are doing their utmost to capitalize on the events either flattering and attempting to align, or damning and holding their opponents responsible. I have yet to see any politician who truly gets it and realizes that "the people" are fed up with being lied to and manipulated for the gain of the few by both politicians and corporations.

While I cannot find a way to align with either side in the social war. Both are too fragmented and to extreme. While on the one side, I want "government" to leave me alone even though I am a quasi-government employee (the state government claims educators when it wants to and disowns us when it is more convenient), but I do believe I should pay my fair share of taxes. I think I am grossly underpaid for the work that I do, but I opted to go to college and earn three degrees directly related to my present position - with the full knowledge that I would be grossly underpaid for my entire work life. I made the choice and quite happily live with it.

Discontent, though, creates dangerous conditions. Benjamin Franklin said, "a mob's a monster, heads enough but no brains." While both organizations appear to have structure, the extremists in each do a remarkable job of making both seem much more threatening than either likely is.

I have tried to come up with a clear definition for either one.

As best as I can define it, the one seeks social justice for themselves alone and the other seeks social justice 1950's Mississippi style.

Both perceive their own hurt to be so personal they cannot rationally comprehend any other viewpoint, and logic long ago fell victim to passion.

None of the leaders in this generation have experienced the level of acrimony from the public masses as is demonstrated in congressional town meetings, electoral debates, the vitriol of talk radio and the slanted coverage of news stations. Everywhere bias dominates the public forum and I have to wonder how much social media has to do with it. A couple years ago, a sociologist released a report/book on how we have segregated ourselves into interest groups. We have moved into neighborhoods of like people. We attend churches with like believers, we get our news from stations that support our political positions, and we friend or follow others who reinforce our values. No wonder we are such angry people as we constantly feed our emotion with fearsome fodder regardless of its nutritional value.

I long for leaders who have the strength to lead with one another over the din around them - leaders with the intelligence to understand the sound and fury of disillusionment and do what it takes to restore trust somewhere in the moderate middle - someone who is able to appeal to me.

Man of a Certain Age

The older I get, the more I have learned that more and more people are likely to look at me in a certain way. Let’s call it “mature.” In all honesty, that is not always a bad thing. Mature can be good. Mature attracts a certain type.

But different people have different view of “mature” that are not necessarily accurate. For example, I recently received a Facebook invitation to attend the “Bearracuda” event happening in Austin in September. 

It has absolutely nothing to do with fish!

It is all about men of a certain body shape and degree of hairiness. Yes, I recently posted a picture of the hair I trimmed from my legs, but that’s it! No excess hair on my stomach, chest, or back can be found. And I just lost over twenty pounds, so I do not have the body shape either.

I can only think of one reason I was invited - I am a man of a certain age, so surely, I’m a bear. I’m not even an otter. As far as that world is concerned, I might as well be one of those freaky Sphynx cats.

Ninety percent of the time I like being a man of a certain age because I do not look or feel like it; however that ten percent creeps in now and then and reminds me that I am.