Resolution 2010

Last year I only made one resolution: take better care of myself. For the most part that resolution was successful. I have taken significantly better care of myself in emotional and spiritual ways; however, I have failed dramatically when it comes to physical care of my body. I began the year with that the primary focus of the three and ended the year realizing just how important it is.

Emotionally, I have realized that for many of the things that used to bug me to no end, I really do not care. Saying I simply do not care carries a harshness that is really most accurate. I do not care about pleasing all people all the time. I do not care if my every action does not fully ingratiate itself to others. I do not care if my time frame is different than yours. I do not care if your feelings were hurt by my honesty. Emotionally, I am going to take care of myself.

Spiritually, I began the year thinking I was most healthy in this area, but through the continued study of the Minor Prophets and then into the Apocrypha, I learned so much more about my own foundations in social justice and its roots in Biblical teaching. That combined with my selection for the AWAB council forced me to continue to grow in my thoughts about justice and the role of religion and my personal faith in those endeavors. The activities of the future continue to influence my thinking in this area as I read and study further what it is the Bible tells us about right treatment of all people.

Physically, though, I completely failed in any attempts to care for myself. I gained 20 pounds in the year. I have not exercised. I have not been careful with my eating. So for 2010, I have to be much more focused on my physical health. I have joined a gym, but I actually have to go. I have to spend the time preparing fully healthy meals all the time and not letting myself slip into settling for fast food because I don’t already have something prepared. Where I have given time to study, I now have to dedicate additional time to my physical health by exercising, eating well, and resting.

My resolution for 2010 continues my resolution from last year, but with the full focus of care for myself, and by caring for myself, I can do more to care for others.

Some Everglades Sights

The Everglades adventure the day after Christmas proved to be one of the most exciting times I had on the trip to Florida. As a person who has always enjoyed the outdoors, getting to see this unique area was a highlight of the trip. There were the places and scenes I expected to see, like the vast expanses of grassy wetland.
Other than travel along the road and look out across these areas, there was little to do to see it. But some areas quite surprised me. Some of my very favorite sights were found in the Mahogany Hammock. I was taken by what appeared to be rain forest-like growths and while the canopy was significantly lower than one finds in the rain forest, the shadows and thickness, replicated what I would expect to see there.

The growths on the ground and around the upturned stumps of large trees overturned by hurricanes across the years. Lush growth all along the ground with various mosses and fungi also reminded me of documentaries from rain forests.

There are so many different spots and ecosystems to see in the Everglades, I could spend an entire vacation with my camera taking pictures and exploring the area.

Four Christmases?

The movie “Four Christmases” seemed like the most absurd of titles. Who in their right mind would have four Christmases.

I cannot say for certain that I am in my right mind, but this year, four Christmases is exactly what I am having.

Christmas # 1 took place two weekends before Christmas with my parents, and my brothers and their families. It began the festive season with a fun day seeing my parents and nephews.

Christmas # 2 took place a week later in Kansas with my uncle, aunt, cousins and their families. R. and I drove all the way to Wichita for that event, which was as usual, side-splittingly fun. The entire event is so unpredictable, that we can do little else but laugh and have fun.

Christmas # 3 took place with R.’s family in Florida. For the first time in my life, I traveled to spend the holiday with the family of someone I love. It was also the first time I met his family in person. Through the wonders of Facebook, I had been in some conversation with one of his brothers and his sister, but the holiday was actually the first time I met them in person, so that stress coupled with the holiday, but it did not diminish the good time of the holiday. I am looking forward to another fun weekend vacation with his family in a few weeks at Disney World.

Christmas # 4 will take place on New Year’s Eve, as R. and I have our time to exchange gifts. I am looking forward to this intimate time together as we exchange those things we purchased for each other. I have never given so much thought or had so much fun buying for someone else, but most of all, I look forward to that time together with him, starting our own traditions.

If the first three Christmases are any indication, this is exactly the way the holidays are meant to be. Nothing has been extraordinary by way of expense, but every gift has been thoughtful and the focus has been on relationships. With my cousins and our $1 gifts, with R.’s family and some “getting to know you” gifts, and with R. and I, the first meaningful exchange of gifts together and the time to share with one another.

I have never been a fan of the holidays, but if this year is is any indication of want can be, I may grow to enjoy them more and more.

Garden Scape

My aunt describes her decoration theme as "rust." Rust's natural appearance definitely help those rusted items fit into the landscape around them especially in the winter scape.

The old milk can and wheelbarrow, I found interesting. Again I was hoping for snow to have them really pop out of the surrounding landscape; however, with all the dead grass and leaves, they way the merge into obscurity also fit.

I particularly like the way the leaves have gathered around the wheelbarrow and milk-can, much like snow in a drift. I can imagine the snow falling there gathering around in a similar pattern.

Playing with Shadows

My aunt has some old wagon wheels as decorations at various places around her house. As the sunset came I noticed the shadows one of them was casting against the wall.

This image, in particular has a wonderful play of shadow against the object creating it. Some of the shadows actually seem to appear from nothing as the spokes seem to be going in different directions.

Getting Squirrelly

While playing around with the camera, a fat and frisky squirrel came out of it's nest and started running around and basking in the sun on the limbs of the big tree outside. The squirrel clearly did not want its picture made as it made every move it could to stay on the side of the limb away from me as I walked around and around the tree trying to get a clear picture.

It finally made its way out on a small enough limb that I could get most of it.

Peek-a-Boo

I do consider myself to be somewhat smarter than a squirrel, so I switched to the telephoto lens of the camera. I was not going to let it hide from me and ended up with this really nice picture from across the yard.

Can't Hide from the Telephoto

Berry Christmas

I am constantly looking for subjects now that I have the new camera, so while relaxing for a little while at my aunt and uncle's house in Kansas this weekend, I went walking around their yard looking at subjects I could frame into pictures.

I always hope for snow when I am there, but did not have such luck on this visit. Still, the bleak winter browns and grays provided a backdrop for color to stand out.

These two shots of a dead bush with its berries drying, and still clinging on really stand out for me among the shots I took as I walked around the yard. There are a number of different angles I took and the camera was snapping so fast that looking through several of the pictures, they seem to be animated.

I do love the natural subjects much more than people, but while in Florida on my next trip, I am hoping to be able to hone in on some people as subjects for the pictures.

Label FAIL

I really should not pay so much attention to labels on products, but in looking over the bottle of margarita mix I won in the work holiday drawing, I noticed the misspelling below. I found it particularly funny because on the day before I was lecturing high school students about homophones and sure enough, there is a homophone error on the back of the bottle of margarita mix.

I wonder if the person who was printing out the labels maybe had had a few tests runs of the product before setting the printer for the bottles to run through.

Better yet, the mix is actually "Diet Margarita Mix". It has 80% fewer calories than regular margarita mix.

Yes, it was the company Christmas lunch and we are having a push on fitness and healthy eating throughout the workplace, but diet margarita mix?

I wonder if they sell "Diet Jose Cuervo" to go with that?

Playing with Photo Editor

I have begun to play around with iPhoto to edit different photos and see what the effects can do. Of course I had to play with the stump photos and given the grays and blacks naturally in the pictures, going with the black-and-white option was the first thing I tried.

The first photo change involved the picture after I converted it to black and white and then did the color enhancement.

This photo was converted straight from color to black and white. It is a little lighter than the photo with the color enhancement. There are benefits to each one, but I think the one with the color enhancement has a little more detail.

Trying to be Techy

In my job, we have begun to push for all things to go high-tech. Our presentations have flash-video or now, actual brief movies as I have learned to do iMovie in the most novice of ways. Still, I am learning new things.

In addition to the iMovie, I set up a Twitter account to post information. I'm debating the idea of doing a work-blog to answer questions for people since so many people have questions about the college application process and financial aid.

Should I do videos to YouTube from those iMovies I'm making?

Technology frightens me somewhat despite my desire to have the latest and greatest. By having the latest tech toys, I appear to be much more technically savvy than I really am because I do not use any of the technology to near the level I could be using it.

Becoming proficient takes so much time, and while I realize that proficiency will make me more productive and will save much time in the future, it does nothing now to make time available to me.

However, if this post works, then I will be one step closer to modern technological proficiency, for this post will be done via email.

Now if I can just get twitterfeed to work again....

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Plant in Water

Another photo from the past weekend. Not everything is stumps, but plenty of those in variations will be posted.

I actually had this photo printed in an 8" X 10" size for framing. I simply love the way the plant rises out of the collected water. It seems to be surrounded by fog but that is simply the hazy day reflected on the still shallow water around the plant.

I'm not seeing anything extraordinary in the photo. I just like looking at it.

Photo Blog?

My Christmas gift to myself this year was a new camera. I purchased a Nikon D3000 Digital SLR camera since I had been using only point-and shoot digital cameras for the last few years. I've missed taking "composed" photographs and am thoroughly enjoying the new camera.

One of the places in which I see some of the greatest beauty is an old stump pile that has has been on my parents place since before I was born. The charred oak stumps make for some great black-and-white photos as well as stark contrast in color pictures.

My favorite of the "stump" pictures this weekend features some of the local weeds and the new tree that has grown up through the stumps.

I am learning to upload the pictures rapidly to my computer and organize them effectively. This means it will be much easier for me to post pictures and information about the events around them.

Stick in the Mud

Even in the best of circumstances I am not the most "fun" person around. I am fully aware of it and admit it freely. I have a fairly straight-forward and serious demeanor and once I'm fixed on a way of doing something, I am just that, fixed.

Some would even call me a "stick in the mud."

I usually don't think I am that bad, but Saturday as I took the boyfriend, R, down to meet my family and see the place where I grew up, stuck in the mud is exactly how we found ourselves.

In all honesty, I didn't intend to get stuck in the mud and through the wonders of four-wheel drive on my truck, I managed to avoid it; however, my 14-year-old nephew, trying to be clever and do an end around in the muddy field with his pawpaw's truck, did not. I backed into position in an attempt to pull him out, but he was so thoroughly stuck, I bogged in as soon as my tires started spinning.

Two trucks stuck in the mud.

At the back of a muddy pasture.

That's exactly the way I wanted to introduce a boyfriend to my childhood home.

He was quickly on the phone seeking assistance from New York in the brief moment he found a cell phone signal. Judging by the comments his friends left on the Facebook photo he posted, they were not much help.

My nephew was quickly dispatched to the house to get the tractor and a chain. I suggested he run since the whole mess was his fault. Judging by the short time it took to hear the tractor start, I think he sprinted the 1/3 of a mile back to the barn to get the tractor. Shortly afterward, we were free of the mud and on our way to the rest of Christmas.

Car Wash Fail

Though it is somewhat hard to see in the photo, in the back of the truck are rolls of carpet padding and carpet. As best I could tell they were brand new and the woman was getting the truck washed with them in the back.

My WTF Moment

This week while attending a conference, the information on one of the Powerpoint slides shocked me so much I wrote “WTF” next to the statement on the handout. Just as I wrote it in bold read ink, I remembered what “WTF” means and thought maybe it should not be in my notes from a professional conference.

I am no stranger to profanity, but as one who believes in the power of language, I use it sparingly and almost never in professional conversation. I use it so rarely, one supervisor implored me to use it more in his presence so he would not feel so conscious of his frequent “f-bomb” laced tirades in our leadership team meetings.

Despite all my care in using language, “WTF” was right there on the page in bold red ink. Am I slipping so much that C would be proud of me (and comfortable around me)? As I pondered the benefits of a scratch-out or white-out, I wondered if using it in the abbreviated form really was the same.

After all, 90% of the time I type "LOL" I’m not even smiling. It is to texting what Dr. Hibbert’s laugh is to uncomfortable situations on The Simpsons: it just happens!

The ubiquitousness of texting and Internet chat has created so many short-cuts and simplifications of language that a unique vocabulary emerges across those media, and in the moment of shock, thinking “they really didn’t just say that did they?” I put down the most succinct response I could. The more I thought about it, the more I became convinced that “WTF” next to the graphic will draw my attention back to the statement for any future reference.

There on my notes for posterity to see and my one-day archivist to ponder is “WTF” in bold red ink.

Continuing in Love

Revelation 1:17 - 2:7

Amos continually preached the message of social justice, but in Revelation, the Son of Man steps forward to continue the sermon. Christ makes it clear that He continues to be in control. As He addresses the church at Ephesus, we have to consider the kind of Christian we are to be.

Through the season of preparation for the coming of Christ, he reminds us of the virtues of faithfulness, patience, and action. He reminds us, too, not to abandon the love that distinguishes us from the world. Central to the virtues is love.

While we consider his coming to us, let us take time to dig deep and find even more love to reach out into the world.

What I Won't Be Giving

This season I have spent more time actually thinking about Christmas gifts than I probably have in the last five years total. I’m thinking it is R and all his organization that have me thinking about making spreadsheets for the holidays and such, but this really is going overboard. It is only the first week of December and I’m 2/3 done with the shopping.

Where is the stress?

Where is the panic?

Where is the last minute grabbing of gift-cards?

There are several gift cards in the mix, but that is because they have been requested. One of these days my nephews are going to learn to trust my taste in music and take my choices as an opportunity to broaden their musical horizons.

They could use some clothing suggestions from me too, but that will come with time.

One gift “suggestion” that keeps coming via email and other advertising is the once ridiculed product of late-night infomercials: the snuggie.

They now have pattern snuggies, team snuggies, and most disturbingly an HRC snuggie. The Human Rights Campaign should know better!! They are going to give a bad name to all the gays!

2009 has been a year of political setbacks for GLBT rights, but the HRC snuggie may have set a new low.

Fortunately, most of my shopping is done, so I can guarantee those on my Christmas gift list that they will not be getting a snuggie - UT, HRC, leopard print, or otherwise.

The Plumb Line

The following is a passage I contributed to my church's Advent Devotional Book.

Amos 7:1-9

plumb line - (n) A) a cord that has at the one end a weight, B) a line directed at the center of gravity of the earth.

The plumb line continues to be one of the simplest tools available to us. Despite its simplicity, it is remarkably accurate, and no matter what resources are joined to create it, the resulting measurements remain the same.

Amos pulls out the plumb line in his prophesy against Israel. Agains the destructive visions God shows Amos, Amos manages to persuade God to relent and have mercy on the people. However given the image of the plumb-line, his interventions go unheeded. The standard, the judgement is true and unfailing.

As Christmas approaches, we see that God did indeed set the plumb-line amongst the people. Through Christ, the one true standard for following God’s will came to be and showed us how He would have us live by living the as our perfect example.

Thirty Days of Writing

Thirty days of writing have now been completed. I haphazardly entered this quest after noticing various posts on the Facebook and several other blogs about the writing month and having neglected the blog most of the year. Now that the end has come, I have found it to be much more rewarding than I ever expected it to be. Some days were really a chore, but most have been a joy to complete.

Writing for thirty straight days has proven for me one of the rules about writing: to be a writer, one has to write. Editing comes later, but writing has to take place for editing to even happen. Some writing is good. Some writing is bad. And honestly, most of the good writing starts out as pretty bad writing. I’ve noticed about my writing that when I could get days ahead and take the time to edit a few times before hitting publish (even when I scheduled the publication well in advance), the writing came out much crisper and clearer than those days with a last minute (digital) scribble.

As I have perused other blogs in the last month, much as I though I would find, the month of writing has produced some very strong writing and some plain hack writing, and much of it writing that would never have happened had the author not participated in the month or taken the time to put their thoughts and idea on paper.

With graduate school essentially over, I’m looking forward to having more time to devote to writing again and hopefully, being back in the swing of writing and posting, I miss posting for as long as I’ve done in the last few months.

Holiday Dread

We are already into the holiday season and I have one of the busiest seasons ever booked, but I am totally NOT into it this year. I don’t know why that is because it should be one of the most exciting in a long time. We began Advent at church. Parties are already on the calendar. Trips are booked.

I’m really not into it.

By inspiration from R., I have a gift list produced.

I have not bought any yet.

I do not know what it is, but I am not ready for it yet. The year has passed too quickly for me. After 2008 being a year full of dissatisfaction, 2009 has been on the whole an entirely positive year with a new job and a new relationship. I do not want it to pass too quickly.

I wonder at this point what is going to put me in the mood. I have no desire to decorate, but R. loves all things holiday. I don’t know how we are going to manage all the decorations he wants even on all the days we are going to be gone. I may have to find a house-sitter to stay here during the dates we are gone.

I can’t believe I just typed “house-sitter.”

I really am going to dread the holidays.

Where Have All The Good Voices Gone?

The couple of days I spent preparing for the Thanksgiving feast at my house, I played classic country music in the background from on of the digital music stations that comes with my cable package. About half the music came from my hey-day of listening to country in the late 70’s and the 80’s. I remembered every lyric and unfortunately for my neighbors, sang along.

Another substantial portion of the playlist was from the 60’s and early 70‘s. The songs reminded me of the reason country music had such a reputation for silliness and for counting on sorrow for inspiration in ways that put the best bluesmen to shame. Over all this clutter, the quality of the voices, particularly male voices, simply is unmatched by any singers today. Singers like Eddy Arnold, Tom T. Hall, Charley Pride, Glen Campbell, and Jim Reeves had voices like liquid silk. Most of the songs are heartbreaking tales of broken love, cheating, prison (many of a man on his walk to the gallows), but I could listen to them all day long as those perfect voices croon their misery.

I wonder why it is today that we cannot have singers with the vocal quality they had in the past. We have good singers, but I cannot think of a country singer whose voice compares to the greats of old country music. With all the pitch control and digital enhancement, one would think that the “voices” today would be better than back in the olden days where there were only knobs and ears to guide the engineer and producer. Country songs are generally much more positive today, while some still have a propensity for silliness, but I could be much more into country than I am now.

Overcooking

One of these days I am going to learn to cook in reasonable amounts. Eight people ate at my place for Thanksgiving. R and I cooked for numbers in the twenties. I’m not certain how to make less than these recipes make.

For me, though, there is as much joy in the cooking and preparation as there is in the eating. I get hours to think, process and listen to music as I prepare some really good food. Cutting, chopping, tasting, and planning and the constant smell of new dishes being prepared keep the house with a festive feel.

Fortunately this year, the greening of the church is Sunday and we are invited to bring leftovers for a pot-luck lunch after worship. I think I’ll be able to feed half those who stay and clean out my refrigerator.

So now I can start planning the New Year’s Feast!

Something to be Thankful For

I have never really lacked for things to be thankful for when Thanksgiving comes around, but this year has been exceptionally good for me and I go into the day with a true exhilaration and desire to spend it in celebration.

Back in July, I wrote about one of the things I would no longer mention in the blog because the two times I had mentioned it, that thing ceased within days. At the time I wrote it, I had actually had a date or two with someone who would become my next “unmentionable.”

He reads the blog and knows everything I say, and he gets the gentle jabs (Boys just want to shoot each other!) I throw his way. He is well aware that he is the “unmentionable.” The truth is that he means too much to me, and typing “unmentionable” everywhere I would say boyfriend or partner or otherwise infer a relationship name truly pains me. I truly am blessed to have him in my life, and this Thanksgiving, having him in my life is without a doubt what I am most thankful for.

I am thankful for the way he looks at me when he thinks I don’t see him.

I am thankful for the way his eyes scrunch up and close when he has a genuine smile on his face.

I am thankful for how often there is a smile on his face.

I am thankful that in the ways I am a “get‘er done” kind of guy, he is thoughtful and contemplative.

I am thankful for and amazed at his intelligence.

I am thankful for his independence within the relationship.

I am thankful for his eternally positive attitude - despite his caution and familiarity with the field of international disaster management.

I am thankful that he is a man of strong faith and gladly worships with me.

I am thankful that he appreciates my grouchiness and just gives me a hug and a kiss and moves on.

I am thankful for the “Ohhh La La!”, but most of all I am thankful that it does not define our relationship despite its extreme ultimate amazingness.

I am thankful that my friends and family who have met him genuinely like him.

I am thankful that I appreciate how he is always right - even when I disagree with him just to be cantankerous, he is still always right. People who know me know just how much being wrong grates on me and just what it took for me to admit that.

I am thankful that even when we disagree, I still cannot think of anyone else with whom I would rather be.

I am thankful that every day I know him, I find something more about him to like and pray that there will be many more days of discovery before us.

Identity Crisis

The move to simplify my life online led to a few hours of identity crisis Monday as I began to find ways to consolidate the various chat and emails into common identity. I frequently chat with friends from around the world on AIM, Yahoo IM, and MSN messenger, so I feel compelled to have a name on each medium. I don’t really need email in each of those media, but you have to have one to get the chat identity. In some cases they come as a package deal.

So, who am I?

I wanted a name that merged both private and professional lives.

My childhood nickname is Rusty and that name has continued with me through various parts of my life even when I have moved on professionally with my “real” name, Roy.

Of course, plain Rusty and Roy were taken. It was much easier to get the name you wanted back in the 1990’s when all this internet stuff was just getting started.

As I began to play on the various sites, I began to play with variations on a theme.

Then I remembered a comment that had been applied to me multiple times. “Pocket” was used as an adjective before a noun to describe me. The term refers to my small physical stature - “I could put you in my pocket and take you home.” My friend B called me Pocket Hercules because I was always the one carrying the kitchen table down and up the stairs when he moved (which was frequently for a while). Another friend E called me a Pocket Queer.

I decided to embrace it.

So my online identity is now “pocketrusty”. Add me to your instant messenger and keep in touch!

Thanksgiving Shopping List

I decided to get organized this year and actually prepare a shopping list before I went to the store.

Well, there is that.

And then there is the fact that "The Unmentionable" insists on lists and menus and assigned tasks for the meal. So not only was I motivated to make a list, I was actually motivated to type it, and organize it somewhat by section of the grocery store.

Turkey

Sausage

Fresh Cranberries

Oranges

Lemons

Limes

Apples

Sun dried Tomatoes

Celery

Carrots

Cream Cheese

Sour Cream (LOTS)

Butter

Milk

Half/Half

Eggs

Whipped Cream

Whipping Cream

Frozen corn

Lemon Jello

Vanilla Instant Pudding

Apple Pie Seasoning

SALT

Pecans

Karo Syrup

Pie Shells

Graham Cracker Pie Shells

Cornbread mix

Sugar

Brown Sugar

Olive Oil

Olive/Canola Oil

Yams

Chickpeas (Canned)

Cranberry Juice

Orange Juice

Pineapple Juice

Lemon Juice

Lime Juice

Margarita Mix

Rose’s Lime

Toilet Tank Tablets

Sandwich bags

Aluminum Pans

Dayquil

Nyquil

This list does not consider the various items I have stocked at home in my pantry.

Now, to prepare for "The Unmentionable's" spreadsheets with given shopping assignments by store based on Black Friday advertisement.