Better Living Through Chemistry

Next week at work, one of the programs I coordinate receives an audit from the state agency over such programs. I inherited the program AFTER the audit was announced, so I had nothing to do with anything that caused the audit; however, I’m the lucky person who gets to go through the audit process and resolve any remaining issues.

I’m also the lucky person who does not get to sleep in the couple of weeks leading up to the audit.

Most of the food I cook and eat is made from scratch, so I have little experience with prepared foods (other than what restaurants sneak out to me). Due to the schedule of the last few weeks, I have shopped for prepared meals that at least seemed somewhat healthy in content. Basically, I have found soups.

And the varieties of energy drinks and snacks. Going on a second week of 2.5 to 3 hours of sleep a night, energy drinks have become my fuel of choice. My documented addiction to caffeine does not suffice to keep me functioning at this point. 

Gotta go for the big guns!

I have been a fan of the Monster energy drinks for a while, but my latest kick is energy gummies! One package of them equals two energy drinks. They are much less filling so I can eat more of them!!!

Yes, currently the exclamation point is my favorite punctuation mark!

Energy drinks do that!

I have also lost eight of the twenty pounds I am trying to shed. This is probably unhealthy weight loss, so I’ve most likely just out-run those pounds and as soon as the energy drinks wear off, they will catch up with me.

Of course maybe I’ll have some kind of miracle lab-transformation of my DNA and this two week infusion of taurine, ginseng, and l-carnitine will permanently shift my metabolism back to where it was in my early twenties.

And the wishful thinking of a mid-forties male continues in my generation. Instead of the sports car, I go for weight loss. Instead of the trophy husband, I go for energy.

Better living through chemistry. Yes, it can be done!